Letting go is hard. It’s an addiction. Unless we’re dealing with Abandon Shoes;)
Letting go of someone you’re still in love with, well that’s a recipe each individual has to dabble with on their own. For myself, the best advice I have is twofold. The first is time. Give yourself time, Give the feelings time. Give the love you had the time to heal inside you and eventually let go when the time feels right to your soul. There’s no clock on this. It can take months, or years but being in love ad no longer having that person there lingers. Like a ghost. You still fell them but they’re not actually there physically. Similar to phantom limb - when a persona has a limb amputated but they still feel pain or an itch in something that’s no longer there. It’s a real thing and it’s the result of something that once belonged to us. Was a part of us and is now apart from us. So the best advice I have is time. The great healer. Each day that goes by you realize they won’t call, reach out and you’ll never see them in the same light you did again. Perhaps a random unplanned bump-in with their new somebody on the street but that’s all. That’s it. There no longer yours even if your soul still belongs to them.
The next piece of advice I can give you is make sure that nothing was left unsaid. I had a very messy situation that took years to clean up but it finally ended with words of truth and absolute honesty. I told him I was still in love with him and could no longer be his other woman or bootycall. His reply was simple and conclusive; “That’s respectable and love you always.” the revelation came in the wording. I love you and I’m in love with you are two very different things. Don’t confuse the two. Being in love with someone is a feeling of need. It’s a can’t all-encompassing desire to be with that person and that person only. They’re the benchmark. There’s no other like them nor do you want there to be. When you’re in love with somebody, you want every other person to be them or it simply won’t do. Loving someone is very different. It simply mean you care about them, respect them, admire them and have all the good vibes in the world for them. It doesn’t mean they’re your number one. That’s reserved for the person you’re in love with - irregardless how they feel about you. So just keep going, take each day as it comes. Accept that the universe has made it so you must move on and so yo just will. Somehow. Someday. On your own clock. It’s okay to be in love with somebody that doesn’t love you back. Love yourself and the rest will follow~
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